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pornography | Seamus O'Sparks

Tag: pornography

A Poem, by damn, When he Should be Filling out Applications for a New Life

By Seamus O'Sparks on August 2, 2017 — 1 min read

I wish I had a huge cock Something to split the crotch of the world While death jerked me off I’d name my penis, “Burps.” “Easy Burps” I’d say Then I’d do all the porno The women would make a bug-eyed squirm And the men would wiggle in doubt I’d love the life Lips to... More

The Bones of Cuauhtémoc

By Seamus O'Sparks on March 30, 2017 — 28 mins read

The Bones of Cuauhtémoc -He dreams and dreams Kiko and the lavender moon- An hour out of Laredo we stopped for gas at an all-night convenience store. We were heading towards Brownsville Texas on US Route 83. The van smelled like stale sweat, salted nuts, and sour farts. That was the way rock n roll... More

Man, the world is a sticky place anymore

By Seamus O'Sparks on February 15, 2017 — 1 min read

Man, the world is a sticky place anymore. The tensions are so thick in this climate you can get a bad taste in your mouth just by licking the air. Trump’s America is looking real jive ass here at the front end of things. So, I’m going to do my part to work towards harmony... More

Most of you know about my long dark personal struggle with addiction to drugs, booze, porn, sex, food, gambling, and shoplifting

By Seamus O'Sparks on September 24, 2016 — 1 min read

Most of you know about my long dark personal struggle with addiction to drugs, booze, porn, sex, food, gambling, and shoplifting. I want to thank you all…wait, actually almost none of you know about my long dark personal struggle with addiction to drugs, booze, porn, sex, food, gambling, shoplifting, and catapults. Damn it. Now I’m... More

I must say, the positive response generated by MY beard and MY glasses have exceeded MY wildest expectations

By Seamus O'Sparks on September 20, 2016 — 1 min read

I must say, the positive response generated by MY beard and MY glasses have exceeded MY wildest expectations. They have won me the adoration of women and the envy of men. I can’t tell you how many offers I get from movie producers (several of them pornographic) appealing to me for an appearance in their... More

I never thought I’d say this

By Seamus O'Sparks on August 30, 2016 — 1 min read

I never thought I’d say this but once you remove the sex and depravity, porn is kinda’…stupid. More

In these hairy times, wouldn’t it be nice to have something positive and reliable to embrace?

By Seamus O'Sparks on July 28, 2016 — 1 min read

In these hairy times, wouldn’t it be nice to have something positive and reliable to embrace? How many times do you find yourself saying, “If only there were something I could turn to for comfort and relief.” Well, now there is: PORN. That’s right: PORN. For relaxing and restoring; ever buoyant never boring, it’s PORN.... More

LONG SINCERE POST-VERY TRAGIC

By Seamus O'Sparks on March 29, 2016 — 2 mins read

LONG SINCERE POST-VERY TRAGIC Hi everyone, this is J.T. (Seamus) from Chasca. I’m afraid I have terrible news. I died last night. Yeah-I ate a surfeit of lampreys (the king killer) and keeled over about an hour later while I was watching my favorite porno, “The Sperminator.” It was wretched. I just wanted everyone to... More

I need some heavy advice

By Seamus O'Sparks on December 12, 2015 — 1 min read

I need some heavy advice. On my way home from work I heard something in the woods. I went to investigate and discovered that a baby Dracula had been abandoned. I didn’t know what to do so I took him home. I don’t know tiddly-twat about babies or Draculas. IS there a number I should... More

Tonight! US! The Blackheart!!! U.T. WON!!!!

By Seamus O'Sparks on October 10, 2015 — 1 min read

Tonight! US! The Blackheart!!! U.T. WON!!!! We play at Midnight-come let your inner SWAIN out…sex in the restroom will happen…Who has sex anymore? Who has sex any less? Let’s make a porn in the bathroom and sell it to the North Koreans…Seriously, people-it’s all about the hedonism…the Epicurean-the prick, the tits, the delightful and charming…... More