I must say, the positive response generated by MY beard and MY glasses have exceeded MY wildest expectations

I must say, the positive response generated by MY beard and MY glasses have exceeded MY wildest expectations. They have won me the adoration of women and the envy of men. I can’t tell you how many offers I get from movie producers (several of them pornographic) appealing to me for an appearance in their projects. And I tell them, “Go drag a Benjamin thru Wal*Mart, Judas-my look ain’t for sale.” It’s those moments of Superstential satisfaction that give me the Siddhartha swagger in this mean and feckless age. And I owe it all to that fateful moment of luminous insight when I decided that I wanted people to look at me and say, “Now there goes a guy who owns his own bowling ball.”