Dear Union Pacific By Seamus O'Sparks on October 14, 2017 — 2 mins read Dear Union Pacific, My name is Seamus and I have a heavy tale to lay on you. On Thursday morning I was heading to work and a train was stopped on the tracks blocking everybody who was trying to get to where they were going. It was about 6:50 am and there were lots of... More
Thoughts while eating Pad Thai after therapy By Seamus O'Sparks on July 18, 2017 — 1 min read There is the word, there is man Of the world, and the light To puke his way past To reason his way out Liver of life Dier of deaths He can’t remember when the sun wasn’t a hard-boiled egg yolk Stuck to the sky The man, created he shopping malls and soda pop in his... More
LONG SINCERE POST-VERY TRAGIC By Seamus O'Sparks on March 29, 2016 — 2 mins read LONG SINCERE POST-VERY TRAGIC Hi everyone, this is J.T. (Seamus) from Chasca. I’m afraid I have terrible news. I died last night. Yeah-I ate a surfeit of lampreys (the king killer) and keeled over about an hour later while I was watching my favorite porno, “The Sperminator.” It was wretched. I just wanted everyone to... More
Awww death… By Seamus O'Sparks on January 10, 2015 — 1 min read Awww death…Damn that it has to be countenanced from time to rotten time. Funny thing about death; when someone you know pays that final bill it shakes loose strange and specific memories from the pale greasy folds of your primal C.P.U. Even if it’s someone that you haven’t thought about in twenty plus years, when... More
I have a profile on OkCupid By Seamus O'Sparks on November 12, 2013 — 1 min read Because I can, I would like everyone to know that I have a profile on OkCupid. My name there is Imagogami. It’s a pretty creepy profile too. Now, why do I have a profile on OkCupid? Am I looking for love? Yuck. Love is gross. Farts to puny love I say. No, my hope is... More
One of the best graduate courses I ever took was Dr. De La Teja’s History of Colonial Mexico By Seamus O'Sparks on November 2, 2013 — 1 min read One of the best graduate courses I ever took was Dr. De La Teja’s History of Colonial Mexico (New Spain). The mythos is that the Mexica (Aztecs) believed that Cortes was the god Quetzalcoatl returning. This belief gave Cortes the kind of berth he needed to topple an empire. In the wake of death, disease,... More
It occured to me that amidst all my eros and hooey that I have never said anything about Orgasms By Seamus O'Sparks on June 14, 2013 — 1 min read It occurred to me that amidst all my eros and hooey that I have never said anything about Orgasms. That’s weird… I like ’em. I like ’em a lot. I have ’em as often as I can, whenever I’m not being hassled…and I’m rarely being hassled. I remember my first orgasm. You should have seen... More
One Hundred and Eleven years ago today By Seamus O'Sparks on November 30, 2011 — 1 min read One Hundred and Eleven years ago today, Oscar Wilde died. Wahhhh!!!! And he took his cinnamon wit and charm with him. And the prudes of the world were so content with themselves with their high morals and low brows. November 30th, 1900-and everyone was all smiles about the 20th century…Little did they know what was... More
I was having a smoke with The Devil this morning By Seamus O'Sparks on August 2, 2011 — 1 min read I was having a smoke with The Devil this morning. He told me he was ready to destroy the world. I asked him why and he said, “Because anymore there’s no truth.” I said, “Devil, there is no truth:things are either interesting or tedious.” He laughed, fortunately, because life is short and death is tacky.... More