Because I can, I would like everyone to know that I have a profile on OkCupid. My name there is Imagogami. It’s a pretty creepy profile too. Now, why do I have a profile on OkCupid? Am I looking for love? Yuck. Love is gross. Farts to puny love I say. No, my hope is that I will connect with someone unhinged and that they will stab me to death at either a cheap motel room or their “place” outside the city. Here’s why I desire this:
A.) I am bored
B.) I would hate to die in a conventional manner
C.) I would very much like to have around a 35-40% awkward index at my funeral
D.) I want my epitaph to read, “He lived as he died-Without dignity.”
If you know anybody who will have sex on the first date and likes to stab their lovers afterwards, please direct them to Imagogami on the OkCupid dating site.