Warning: Use of undefined constant DATABASE_SERVER - assumed 'DATABASE_SERVER' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/wjl7ay88puji/domains/seamus.wileykoepp.com/html/wp-config.php on line 32
I have a profile on OkCupid | Seamus O'Sparks

I have a profile on OkCupid

By Seamus O'Sparks on November 12, 2013 — 1 min read

Because I can, I would like everyone to know that I have a profile on OkCupid. My name there is Imagogami. It’s a pretty creepy profile too. Now, why do I have a profile on OkCupid? Am I looking for love? Yuck. Love is gross. Farts to puny love I say. No, my hope is that I will connect with someone unhinged and that they will stab me to death at either a cheap motel room or their “place” outside the city. Here’s why I desire this:

A.) I am bored
B.) I would hate to die in a conventional manner
C.) I would very much like to have around a 35-40% awkward index at my funeral
D.) I want my epitaph to read, “He lived as he died-Without dignity.”

If you know anybody who will have sex on the first date and likes to stab their lovers afterwards, please direct them to Imagogami on the OkCupid dating site.

God Bless

Posted in: Relationships

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.