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Who IS Seamus O Sparks? | Seamus O'Sparks

Who IS Seamus O Sparks?

By Seamus O'Sparks on November 25, 2013 — 1 min read

Who IS Seamus O Sparks? What kind of bats are buzzing around his belfry? I was given the number 9.

  1. I love movies about cavemen, inbreds, and cannibals. I hope they make a movie about inbred cavemen cannibals soon.
  2. The most interesting dream I ever had: I was a soldier in Vietnam. We were walking into a valley and there was elephant grass everywhere. We were ambushed. I was the guy who carried the mobile phone and communication stuff. An airstrike was called in. There was a mistake in coordinates and we were hit with napalm and I was killed. After being hit by this wall of fire there was blackness and disembodied voices of we soldiers who had been “killed” all trailing off. After the blackness and voices I opened my eyes as a baby and recognized my current family members and realized that this was my new life and I “settled” into it.
  3. My earliest memory involves cross-dressing when I was 2 yrs old.
  4. The film character that I most identify with is Miles Raymond. That’s Paul Giamatti’s character in the movie Sideways.
  5. I’m terrified of operating machinery especially driving automobiles.
  6. I get melancholy right after Christmas.
  7. I am equal measures lazy hedonist pig and disciplined rigorous ascetic…I loathe the middle ground.
  8. When I fantasize for auto-erotic purposes it only works if it’s about people I know…Guess which ones of you have made the roster? (Hint:Most of you) 😮
  9. I have always had a deep, persistent, and neurotic fear of death…and insignificance.
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The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.