Thoughts while eating Pad Thai after therapy By Seamus O'Sparks on July 18, 2017 — 1 min read There is the word, there is man Of the world, and the light To puke his way past To reason his way out Liver of life Dier of deaths He can’t remember when the sun wasn’t a hard-boiled egg yolk Stuck to the sky The man, created he shopping malls and soda pop in his... More
I watched so much Kramer vs. Kramer last night… By Seamus O'Sparks on April 22, 2017 — 1 min read I was in the zone, man. That film turned Meryl Streep into a bonafide star and divorce into a national pastime. It makes me want to get divorced. It also makes me think that Meryl Streep is a real fox. I heard she’s not always nice to people. I also heard Judd Hirsch was involved... More
The Bones of Cuauhtémoc By Seamus O'Sparks on March 30, 2017 — 28 mins read The Bones of Cuauhtémoc -He dreams and dreams Kiko and the lavender moon- An hour out of Laredo we stopped for gas at an all-night convenience store. We were heading towards Brownsville Texas on US Route 83. The van smelled like stale sweat, salted nuts, and sour farts. That was the way rock n roll... More
I could really use some swift council By Seamus O'Sparks on February 25, 2016 — 1 min read I could really use some swift council. I was eating my sandwich and was so focused on the task that I chewed on past the food and I ended up eating my hand. Talk about overshooting the mark. Damn. I loved that hand. But what I really love is free medical advice. Come on, people-Facebook... More
Do you ever wonder why certain songs are included in some radio station’s Christmas playlists? By Seamus O'Sparks on December 23, 2015 — 2 mins read Do you ever wonder why certain songs are included in some radio station’s Christmas playlists? I do. I wrote Majic 95.5 to see if they could shed a light on things: HI there! I listen to your Christmas station while at work. That means I get to hear hours and hours of you guys everyday.... More
On this day, in 1587, Virginia Dare was born By Seamus O'Sparks on August 18, 2015 — 1 min read On this day, in 1587, Virginia Dare was born. On this day, in 1590, Virginia Dare disappeared (officially). What happened to her? No one really knows. Could it be that she was eaten by wild pigs or cannibal brutes? Perhaps she went out to Hollywood and, after years of shameful hustle, ended up ruining Fatty... More
Who IS Seamus O Sparks? By Seamus O'Sparks on November 25, 2013 — 1 min read Who IS Seamus O Sparks? What kind of bats are buzzing around his belfry? I was given the number 9. I love movies about cavemen, inbreds, and cannibals. I hope they make a movie about inbred cavemen cannibals soon. The most interesting dream I ever had: I was a soldier in Vietnam. We were walking... More
Happy Valentine’s Day!!! By Seamus O'Sparks on February 14, 2013 — 1 min read Happy Valentine’s Day!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Today we celebrate when St. Valentine’s was born and how he drove the romantics out of Ireland and into the sea. And if you’re a good lover Valerie the Valentine will come and leave you pornography under your shoes while you’re fast asleep. Remember, all is fair... More
You should try the new snack product: Pretzelcoatals By Seamus O'Sparks on October 11, 2012 — 1 min read You should try the new snack product-Pretzelcoatals. They’re great. It’s a pretzel with chile, lime, and human flesh flavoring. Ritual cannibalism in a bag. And there’s also Azchex Mix…and small pox. Oy. This is a bad post. BUT, there is something spooky in the air. And I’m not talking about the upcoming presidential election(Har Har... More
The smelly, hirsute she-cannibal lunged at the toothy Cossack with the intention of having him put babies in her By Seamus O'Sparks on April 13, 2011 — 1 min read The smelly, hirsute she-cannibal lunged at the toothy Cossack with the intention of having him put babies in her and then, possibly, feasting on his flesh. She was an inbred product of generations of deformed anthropophagites who dwelled in the Ural Mountains, somewhere in the back, and he was the dashing son of the Zaporozhian... More