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Seamus O'Sparks Musings of an Eccentric
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Tag: moms

In these hairy times, wouldn’t it be nice to have something positive and reliable to embrace?

By Seamus O'Sparks on July 28, 2016 — 1 min read

In these hairy times, wouldn’t it be nice to have something positive and reliable to embrace? How many times do you find yourself saying, “If only there were something I could turn to for comfort and relief.” Well, now there is: PORN. That’s right: PORN. For relaxing and restoring; ever buoyant never boring, it’s PORN.... More

Tired of all those greasy, hard to spread jellies that constantly ruin your breakfast?

By Seamus O'Sparks on July 27, 2015 — 1 min read

Tired of all those greasy, hard to spread jellies that constantly ruin your breakfast? Me thinks your breakfast needs FINKS! Finks: the spreadable, edible, INCREDIBLE jelly that will liven up any breakfast. Spread it on biscuits, pancakes, waffles, hot dogs, toast, muffins-you name it. And Finks is 100% flavor suited, so moms know their kids... More

Happy Boxing Day!

By Seamus O'Sparks on December 26, 2013 — 1 min read

Happy Boxing Day! My family just got through celebrating. Mom won this year…again. She might not have much reach, but damn if she can’t always find a way to get inside and work the body. My poor nephew is going to be pissing blood for a month. Mom takes cheap shots… Never gets called for... More

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.