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I Made My Fantasy a Reality and Brought My Fake Self-Help Book to Life – Hastily Written Hokum to Cleanse the Soul | Seamus O'Sparks

I Made My Fantasy a Reality and Brought My Fake Self-Help Book to Life – Hastily Written Hokum to Cleanse the Soul

By Seamus O'Sparks on April 28, 2017 — 11 mins read


Most people are repulsive. Though natural selection tries to propel us towards mates that have at least some qualities that are beneficial to the species, like physical attraction, repulsiveness seems to win out at the genetic level. Repulsiveness, as a construct, can mean different things. Because life is easier when we reduce things to their simplest terms, we will identify repulsiveness as being either external or internal.

All people are inherently repulsive internally. Some individuals are able to mitigate this repulsiveness by being superficially decent. Sooner or later, their inner repulsiveness finds its way to the surface. Men are especially repulsive when it comes to matters of the heart and loins. Consequently, most men will find themselves handicapped by their terrible character traits in this arena. Most men, as with most people, are also physically repulsive. Being burdened by both internal and external repulsiveness can seem like an insurmountable challenge when attempting to score with babes. It doesn’t have to be.

All but the wealthiest and most handsome of men have difficulty when trying to score with babes. To better understand how to triumph over your limitations as a repulsive man, it is necessary to understand something about women in general. The following list delineates the qualities women find most attractive in men they would consider letting score with them. These men are the most likely to be able to score with babes without any inordinate resistance or hassles. Such men are:

  1. In a serious and seemingly stable relationship with another woman (particularly her close friend).
  2. Troubled *
  3. Wealthy
  4. Handsome
  5. Arrogant and entitled

*Being troubled ONLY WORKS if you are NOT physically repulsive. If you are physically repulsive and troubled you will be LESS LIKELY to score with babes. If you are attractive or wealthy and troubled your chances of scoring with babes significantly increases.

This list may leave out a few other man types who are candidates for easy babe scoring, but it is a good place to start. While it should come as no surprise that wealth and physical appearance are attributes that will make scoring with babes easier, such things as arrogance and relationship status may seem strange as qualities of attraction. If we simplify these conditions and equate them to a woman’s perception, their reasons for being attractive become clear.

  • In a serious relationship = chance to show up another female.
  • Troubled = Opportunity to “fix.”
  • Arrogant = Opportunity to “heel.” (Of less importance but worth noting, women perceive arrogant men as being good in bed with a probable big dick.)

The important thing in all of this is to be aware of women’s repulsiveness in selecting who they will and will not let score with them. Woman are hard wired to derive pleasure out of demonstrating superiority to other women. Demonstrating superiority over men is a distant second in a woman’s ambition, but one that is important to consider. Woman are responsive to men who are confident because, although woman enjoy a good fuck like anyone else, a man who acts like he doesn’t need a woman presents an opportunity for both buoying self-confidence by being the object of the confident man’s seemingly selective desire but also the first step in breaking the man from the ego on down.

So, what does this mean for the repulsive man? The answer is surprisingly simple: use YOUR internal repulsiveness and her internal repulsiveness to YOUR advantage. This is surprisingly simple. First things first, if you have a talent EXPLOIT IT. For example, if you sing well, go to a karaoke bar. If you’re a good writer, go to a poetry slam, etc. Demonstrating your skill at something is an excellent hook to use if you’re repulsive. It won’t be enough to score with the babe, but it opens the door to getting her attention.

If you, like most people, have no talent do not despair. For both the talented and untalented alike, the necessary ingredient to scoring with babes is convincing them that another babe wants to score with you. This means taking the first item on the list of what women find attractive and applying it. This poses a troubling question for the repulsive male: If I can’t score with babes, how do I get one to appear interested in letting me score with her? There are several ways to achieve this:

  1. Pay someone to go out with you. This is the easiest method of both securing a willing partner in your deception and maintaining a high level of “quality control” over who accompanies you in the enterprise. Remember, you get out of things what you put into them. The hotter the babe seen with you is, the better your chances of scoring with a wider and more appealing selection of babes will be. Most large cities have escort services. These can be pricey and are not a reliable option for repulsive men in smaller towns. The best resource is something like Craigslist. Simply put an ad out appealing to attractive women interested in making easy money to help someone with a “project.” It is especially effective to target college aged babes in your search for an accomplice. College girls are more likely to need quick cash and less likely to be morally outraged at your endeavor because of their age and poor character development. A college aged girl will also look more impressive on your arm. Be sure and clarify to whoever considers your offer that they will not be required to be alone with you. Make absolutely clear that she will meet you at whatever destination you choose for your babe scoring maneuvers and will be able to leave at whatever time you agree upon. DO NOT COME ACROSS AS A CREEP WITH ULTERIOR MOTIVES.
  2. If paying for assistance is not feasible, appeal to a friend or relative to do you a favor. If there is a woman in your life who is sympathetic to your needs, ask them to help you. The downside to this is that you may be limited in your options. The more attractive the woman, the more likely your success will be. On the positive side, a friend or relative may be more sympathetic to your plight. Some well-crafted pleading will help increase her pity and reduce her potential indignation.
  3. If you can’t secure a woman via cash or sympathy, find someone on the fly. This works almost exclusively at a bar. The best candidate for this is a woman who is by herself and has had too much to drink. Offer to buy her some drinks in exchange for her help. Most times she will not be an ideal partner for your end goal and may actually hamper your efforts. This method requires some financial investment, but is less expensive than option one. The plus side is that some other babe may be so repulsed by the woman you are with that she takes a shine to you out of mercy and the door to scoring will be that much more open. The other benefit is that the combination of alcohol and desperation from both you and your cohort may strike the right sparks and you may be able to score with her.

Now that you have a decoy babe you are ready to set out. Pick a spot where babes who enjoy scoring might gather. As a rule of thumb, bars are a good place to pursue scorable babes. The mix of booze and depression increases the likelihood of a repulsive man getting his fairest shot. Case your local bar scene to see where the babes hang out. If you go to a bar that is only frequented by repulsive men such as yourself you will be wasting time.

One thing to keep in mind: AVOID SINGLE WOMEN AT THE BAR. A single woman is likely to be more guarded and less receptive to scoring. There is also the possibility that she is waiting for a significant other. Your best bet is to find a group of babes sitting together. The group should have at least two but no more than four babes present. Too many babes in a group will result in them vying for each other’s attention instead of yours. In a smaller group the babes will want to stand out when encountering a man, even a repulsive one.

Once you have selected a group of babes, you and your “woman” should sit close to them. Close enough so that they can overhear your conversation. At this point it is time to apply the points from the list on what women find attractive. Make sure your conversation includes information about your wealth, success, and impressive future plans. The substance on your conversation should be tailored to the babes you are trying to impress. If they have tattoos and piercings, your field should be the arts. If they look professional, choose something nebulous but extraordinary like entertainment law. ANYTHING THAT YOU CAN BULLSHIT ABOUT AT THE PEDESTRIAN LEVEL AND HAS YOU MIXING WITH CELEBRITIES IS ADVISED.

Your woman should respond with a mixture of awe and concern that you are pushing yourself too hard and putting success over personal well-being. You should concede she is right but that you are addicted to achievement because of a deprived childhood. When the time is right, your woman should engage the babes with a seemingly innocuous request. Borrowing a cigarette lighter is an excellent choice for this. It allows two points of contact, both the borrowing and returning. Once you have established first contact, the trap is set. *NOTE* It is important that the bar you are in is not TOO LOUD. If the babes cannot hear you the ruse will be in vain.

Once you are certain that the babes have overheard your conversation, excuse yourself to go to take a call from-NAME DROP FAMOUS PERSON HERE. At this point your decoy woman should approach the babes and start griping about how you are too involved in your career. Her complaints should be punctuated by references to your wealth and sexual prowess. She should then declare that great sex and a fabulous lifestyle isn’t enough and leave in a fit of pique.

Once you return, the trap is ready to be sprung. Ask the babes where your babe went. When they tell you look troubled but be dispassionate. Then ask the babes if they want to have a drink with you. Explain that your woman does this frequently when work intrudes on your “personal life.” The door is now open for the babes to be scored with.

You will have to determine which of the babes seems most likely to be interested in letting you score with her. Separating the babe from the herd can be challenging. You may not even score on the first encounter. As a repulsive person you must be willing to play the long game. Perhaps setting a meeting up for another time will result in scoring with the babe later on? Getting contact information should be your initial goal. A false pretense like needing an assistant to help “organize files” is an excellent way to invoke another meeting. Be creative but keep it believable. If you offer to take the babe to Antigua for a business meeting with Don Henley she may either suspect you are full of shit or be overwhelmed by the offer. Either way, overplaying your hand will result in not scoring with babes.

Some final thoughts: It is important to dress the part when trying to score with babes. As mentioned before, DO NOT OVERDO IT. Look casual but not sloppy. Black is your friend where clothes are concerned. Dress as if you do not CARE about impressing babes, but cargo shorts are not on your radar. Also, be confident and arrogant but not an asshole. The best way to achieve this is to speak poorly about others you have met and know personally. Tell them Don Henley is an idiot or Beau Bridges has bad breath. Also, brag about your accomplishments but downplay the benefits of success. Consider something like this:

You- Yeah, I write for The New Yorker. It’s alright-the money’s great-but dealing with Tom Wolfe is a nightmare. I’ll never figure out how he keeps his hat on his ego. Oh well…I’ve got to go to New York in a week and then to London after that. I’m doing a piece about the revival of Broadway and the West End. I hate all the traveling but I’m thinking of getting a place in London so I needed to go there anyway.

Also, be realistic in your choice of babes to try and score with. Although your story will open the door to scoring remember that you are still repulsive. The chances that you will score with Sophia Loren are very slim. Trying to score with a babe who is a 10 will be more work, more money, and less certain than shooting for a 5. It’s best to cast a wide net, you never know how your luck will run, but for the repulsive man a sure thing is much better than a long shot.

If you are repulsive, there is every reason to believe that you can still score with babes. Though you will be resorting to deception remember this; people love fantasy and detest reality. You are merely providing the world with what it wants. You’re no different than Hollywood, McDonalds, or The Peace Corps. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t score with a babe on your first try. Being repulsive means you must rely on effort and determination. You may need to practice your approach and refine the process. Remember, the better you get at scoring with babes, the more babes you will score with.

Posted in: Relationships

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.