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Free Enterprise | Seamus O'Sparks

Free Enterprise

By Seamus O'Sparks on March 7, 2017 — 1 min read

Thanks to those folks who requested a rant from me… I appreciate your appreciation of my fractured gibberish. I haven’t really been in a ranting kind of mood lately-I figure between the wire tapping falderal and North Korea’s interballistic hard on, we should just about get finished off any day now…so rant shmant Adam Ant. Here’s a dumb poem instead-still a work in progess:

Free Enterprise

When I worked customer service
At a resale store
I would sneak off to the dressing room
At least three times a day
To masturbate
Just to prove that my humanity
Was still in tact
Amidst the fat woman
Bitching at me about the price of a salt shaker
And their gum chewing sons
With double chins and baseball caps
Telling me how to lift the edge of a dresser
And everyone needing to take a long shit
In the poorly ventilated restroom
My nervous system ground into
Cheap hamburger
On a daily basis
So I would relieve the stress
One day, when I was at the shop alone
A chubby woman with big teeth
Caught me in the act
So I put it to her
While her dullard husband
With his “Make America Great Again” T-Shirt
Looked at golf clubs
I gloried in the moment
Nothing beats a good hate fuck
Free enterprise
A body trapped in a man’s woman
And it didn’t take me long
To finish off with a sly grin
The same grin I flashed
When I told her husband
I couldn’t give him a discount
On the golf clubs
Even though I could have
Because they were due for a markdown
It didn’t matter
He reluctantly paid full price
And still got a bargain

Posted in: Poetry

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.