So I was watching Dr. Phil and they were talking about cults

By Seamus O'Sparks on November 26, 2014 — 1 min read

So I was watching Dr. Phil and they were talking about cults. I didn’t realize there was so much sex involved in the cult world! Wow-those cult folk make The Eagles look like Puritans. I definitely think being a cult leader is for me! I mean, I won’t be like one of those smarmy sleep with underage people, drop sarin gas in subways, stockpile weapons, start a race war based on Beatle’s songs, drink the flavor aid, suicide cult kinda’ cult leaders. That would be bogus. I’m thinking just a nice little run around naked, eating potato chips, listening to hammer dulcimer, Jello wrestling, cross-dressing, egg racing, pie throwing, skinny dipping, prank call making, Dr. Seuss reading, edible body paint wearing, glue sniffing, freak flag flying, huxom goddess worshipping cults. Most cult leaders claim to have spoken to God. That’s never happened to me, but I did speak to a bush while really stoned once. So, who’s down to join my cult? Let’s break off from this sick and wicked world and form our own sicker, wickeder world!!! oh, and help me think of a kick-ass name for the cult. Image is everything you know!

Posted in: Random

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.