Stay Away from People By Seamus O'Sparks on August 14, 2017 — 2 mins read Stay away from people Because they are ready for you Ready to fink you out They do it out of love The nuclear missile The four horsemen Shit-now we probably have five (horseman that is). The pigs eating the streets chink-spic-nigger-faggot-bollio (AND LOOK THAT (bollio) ONE UP BECAUSE I GOT CALLED THAT MORE TIMES GROWING... More
Thoughts while eating Pad Thai after therapy By Seamus O'Sparks on July 18, 2017 — 1 min read There is the word, there is man Of the world, and the light To puke his way past To reason his way out Liver of life Dier of deaths He can’t remember when the sun wasn’t a hard-boiled egg yolk Stuck to the sky The man, created he shopping malls and soda pop in his... More
I once loved a girl… By Seamus O'Sparks on May 16, 2017 — 1 min read I once loved a girl who was Finnish During sex she would not let me finish Her manner was mannish I cursed her in Spanish Then rubbed one out into her spinach More
TONIGHT-Chasca turns the veggie splendor of La Botanica By Seamus O'Sparks on October 14, 2016 — 1 min read TONIGHT-Chasca turns the veggie speldor of La Botanica into a full blown MEAT MARKET!!!! We can’t wait to see you, San Antonio!!! We play around 10:30 but you should get there early so we can share some quality time. Did you know that the Nahuatl word for quality time is SEX? TONIGHT-LA BOTANICA-SAN ANTONIO-SEX More
Most of you know about my long dark personal struggle with addiction to drugs, booze, porn, sex, food, gambling, and shoplifting By Seamus O'Sparks on September 24, 2016 — 1 min read Most of you know about my long dark personal struggle with addiction to drugs, booze, porn, sex, food, gambling, and shoplifting. I want to thank you all…wait, actually almost none of you know about my long dark personal struggle with addiction to drugs, booze, porn, sex, food, gambling, shoplifting, and catapults. Damn it. Now I’m... More
I never thought I’d say this By Seamus O'Sparks on August 30, 2016 — 1 min read I never thought I’d say this but once you remove the sex and depravity, porn is kinda’…stupid. More
Hey, I need some advice By Seamus O'Sparks on August 27, 2016 — 1 min read Hey, I need some advice. I was reading about the secret initiation rites of the Illuminati. It’s pretty perverse-all the sex and drugs and John Denver music. Definitely my kind of scene. Do any of you know how I can join the Illuminati? I’m pretty sharp (almost 1,000 on my S.A.T.). Is there some kind... More
I had the most fantastic dream last night By Seamus O'Sparks on August 25, 2016 — 1 min read I had the most fantastic dream last night. I dreamt that a bird was “buzzing” me. In response I began to reshape my head (which had the feel and consistency of clay) into a long thin tube. I grabbed a basket and worked my noodly dome into it. As my head lay coiled in the... More
I need to find a new swingers SEX group, pronto By Seamus O'Sparks on March 5, 2016 — 1 min read I need to find a new swingers SEX group, pronto. The one I’ve been going to is filled with knuckleheads who keep asking me heavy questions like: ‘Who are you” and “What are you doing here?” Plus they meet only once a month and only ever talk about the book they just read. This month... More
And now, a Valentine’s Day haiku By Seamus O'Sparks on February 14, 2016 — 1 min read And now, a Valentine’s Day haiku: It’s Valentine’s Day And love’s more than sex and sweets So it’s not my thing More