Today I go to the dentist for extensive surgery

By Seamus O'Sparks on November 25, 2014 — 1 min read

Today I go to the dentist for extensive surgery. Wish me luck! I’m having all of my teeth removed and replaced with baleen. It’s part of this new health craze that’s sweeping the nation: The Cetacean Diet. So, next time you see me I’ll be a filter feeder. That’s right. If I you ask me out to dinner we’ll have to go somewhere that has a pool filled with krill. It should make me a better lover though. Now that I’ll have a blowhole the possibilities are endless…endless. I will have to worry about those pesky Norwegians…Bah, A little fluke up the rudder will put the cure on them. SO EXCITED!!!

Posted in: Random

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.