Ode on a Rotten Tooth By Seamus O'Sparks on November 21, 2016 — 1 min read Everyone loves high minded poetry on FB, so here is something I did that will KNOCK YOUR TEETH OUT!!! Ode on a Rotten Tooth Thou still enameled bride of mastication Thou muncher of carrots and slow time Dentin historian, who does express A pearly tale more dulcet than This Rhyme What crowning legends haunts about... More
Today I go to the dentist for extensive surgery By Seamus O'Sparks on November 25, 2014 — 1 min read Today I go to the dentist for extensive surgery. Wish me luck! I’m having all of my teeth removed and replaced with baleen. It’s part of this new health craze that’s sweeping the nation: The Cetacean Diet. So, next time you see me I’ll be a filter feeder. That’s right. If I you ask me... More
So, I went to the dentist today and it’s official: I have jaw rot By Seamus O'Sparks on June 27, 2014 — 1 min read So, I went to the dentist today and it’s official: I have jaw rot. My whole mouth is a bio-scandalous monument to the perils of GINGIVITIS. I got a whole slew of other dental problems too and the wretched mandibles to prove it. BUT-that won’t stop the Chasca show at TRIPLE CROWN this Saturday. My... More
I feel like Jeff Goldblum in THE FLY By Seamus O'Sparks on April 15, 2014 — 1 min read Oy, what a spring. I feel like Jeff Goldblum in THE FLY. Only I’m not losing my fingernails or teeth. And I haven’t had any bursts of manic super strength and stamina. And no strange hairs are poking through my back. And I’m not able to corrode things with my puke. I’m certainly not having... More
I’ve been listening to the new CHASCA CD By Seamus O'Sparks on October 7, 2013 — 1 min read I’ve been listening to the new CHASCA CD. It sounds GREAT! We’re really excited about it all and we spared NO EXPENSE in its production and manufacture. I got a chance to play the whole CD for Rod Stewart this weekend. He reacted by taking the CD and smashing it to pieces and then tearing... More
What a weekend! By Seamus O'Sparks on June 20, 2011 — 1 min read What a weekend! After the show on Friday a small man with hooks for hands forced me into a van to gratify his grossly obese wife’s lusts in exchange for a Slurpee. I had to punch my way out of that one and lost a tooth in the process. I think the band is moving... More