THIS JUST IN

THIS JUST IN: Has anyone else noticed that October is a time of miracles? I have!!! For instance, in October everyone is alot nicer. And I can go up to all the goth/vampire kids in hiptown and shake my fist and say, “Vhat ever happened to my Transylvania Twist?” I can do this with impugnity and we all end up laughing and rolling around the pumpkin patch in a nice ball of fists and kicking legs. An…d, in October, I can go up to various Republican Party County Headquarters and to liberals who ask me not to smoke and shake my fist and say, “Vhat ever happened to my Transylvania Twist?” And we all laugh and punch and bite and I run. AND, I can go up to tough guys with big necks and little kids with baby teeth and Cops who stop and search me for contraband and Glenn Frey and pretty girls who hate me for stealing sips out of their cocktails and I can shake my fist and say, “Vhat ever happened to my Transylvania Twist?” AND AND AND I can go to the U.S. Coast Guard recruiting center and shake my fist and say, “I ain’t gonna’ cut my hair and join the Coast Guard so stop calling me!!!! But I’ll say it like a Dracula and they like that…..