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I watched so much Kramer vs. Kramer last night… | Seamus O'Sparks

I watched so much Kramer vs. Kramer last night…

By Seamus O'Sparks on April 22, 2017 — 1 min read

I was in the zone, man. That film turned Meryl Streep into a bonafide star and divorce into a national pastime. It makes me want to get divorced. It also makes me think that Meryl Streep is a real fox. I heard she’s not always nice to people. I also heard Judd Hirsch was involved in a property dispute with his neighbors (years ago).

Justin Henry-the actor who played the son in Kramer vs. Kramer-went on to play the smart alec brother in Sixteen Candles. I heard he was eaten by a tribe of cannibals in Africa. This tribe apparently speaks an archaic form of 19th century courtly Russian. No one knows how they learned it. Maybe it wasn’t Justin Henry who was eaten by them. Actually, I think it was Adam Rich. He played Nicholas on Eight is Enough. Isn’t that weird? Because Nicholas was the name of the last Russian Tsar (Czar). I heard that poor Adam Rich was chewed down to the bone as those cannibals spoke their high falutin Russian. It’s true, as he was being devoured he screamed, “Hey, don’t eat me. I was on Eight is Enough.”

That’s what I heard. Poor guy. I’m glad I was never a child star. It would have turned me into an egotistical weirdo. One day you’re pulling focus from Dustin Hoffman and the next you’re sucking on pot shots from Bruce Vilanch. Adam Rich got off easy if you ask me. Oi… The perils of fame…the entertainment industry will eat you alive.

Posted in: Movies, Random

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.