Well, as if today wasn’t feculent enough, I think I may be the first person in history to actually FIND my virginity after having lost it. On the bright side, this means that my son, the one that I named Hamburglar, doesn’t have to be paid for anymore! But on the other, other hand, who will I teach swears to now…so mixed up by this rotten day. Who needs Gethsemane when you have terrible Mondays…THE UNIVERSE CAN STOP ACTING LIKE A BOGUS PIMP SAYS I
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