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Well, as if today wasn’t feculent enough… | Seamus O'Sparks

Well, as if today wasn’t feculent enough…

By Seamus O'Sparks on January 12, 2016 — 1 min read

Well, as if today wasn’t feculent enough, I think I may be the first person in history to actually FIND my virginity after having lost it. On the bright side, this means that my son, the one that I named Hamburglar, doesn’t have to be paid for anymore! But on the other, other hand, who will I teach swears to now…so mixed up by this rotten day. Who needs Gethsemane when you have terrible Mondays…THE UNIVERSE CAN STOP ACTING LIKE A BOGUS PIMP SAYS I

Posted in: Random

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.