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The Hamburglar | Seamus O'Sparks

Tag: The Hamburglar

Just saw the fuzz take down a perp at the McDonald’s

By Seamus O'Sparks on February 14, 2017 — 1 min read

Just saw the fuzz take down a perp at the McDonald’s on 123. I asked one of the cops if they had finally caught The Hamburglar? They didn’t acknowledge me. I lit a cigarette and asked if the suspect had tried to robble robble the joint. One of the cops whacked a billy club in... More

Is the Illuminati responsible for the disappearance of the Hamburglar?

By Seamus O'Sparks on September 8, 2016 — 1 min read

Is the Illuminati responsible for the disappearance of the Hamburglar? Notice how the capital “i” and lower case “l”s in “Illuminati” look the same?? WHY CAN’T I BE A STUPID ILLUMINATO? More

Well, as if today wasn’t feculent enough…

By Seamus O'Sparks on January 12, 2016 — 1 min read

Well, as if today wasn’t feculent enough, I think I may be the first person in history to actually FIND my virginity after having lost it. On the bright side, this means that my son, the one that I named Hamburglar, doesn’t have to be paid for anymore! But on the other, other hand, who... More

So soon a new Chasca CD will be born in this world

By Seamus O'Sparks on June 15, 2015 — 1 min read

So soon a new Chasca CD will be born in this world. Just what society needs, ANOTHER lame ass band pumping more dreck into the air…it’s going to be called BARBARIANS. We think it may actually be pretty good. We were going to call it, HAMBURGLARS, but McDonalds has a pretty effective legal department…JUNE 25th... More

I just found out that I was adopted

By Seamus O'Sparks on May 19, 2015 — 1 min read

Hey guys, I know I post a lot of stupid stuff here on FB. Today, however, I’d like to share some news with you all that was just relayed to me. It is somewhat upsetting and definitely shocking. I just found out that I was adopted. That part of the news isn’t upsetting. What I... More