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I’ve had a terrible day today | Seamus O'Sparks

I’ve had a terrible day today

By Seamus O'Sparks on December 18, 2014 — 1 min read

I’ve had a terrible day today. Last night I settled my brains for a long winter’s nap and as I fell into a slumber I dreamt vivid dreams. Visions of sugar plums danced in my head. When I woke up this morning guess what? I had sugar plums stuck to my head. I’ve been in the emergency room all morning trying to get these damn things removed-with no luck. So now, aside from attracting hordes of bees, I have to spend the whole holiday season with a head covered in sugar plums. I don’t even know what the hell a sugar plum is. These sugar plums are bad. They won’t come off. The doctor recommended I find some orphans and let them lick the sugar plums off. I don’t know any orphans. Can anyone help me? Will some of you please come lick these sugar plums off my head? I’ll lick something off of you…Come on-’tis the season, right? Please help-I need your tongues! 😮

Posted in: Random

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.