By Seamus O'Sparks on October 6, 2013 — 1 min read

I GOT CAST IN A MOVIE!!!! It’s set to begin filming next week. It’s a porno film. It’s based on a Shakespeare play and it’s called “JULIUS SEES HER.” I play erotic toga-less eunuch #2. I have two lines-and it’s something I ad-libed at the audition. When Brutus comes into his tent to ravage Calpurnia I say, “Watch me SHAKE my SPEAR.” Then, before the BIG shemale orgy scene I say, “Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your rears.” And they said I’d never amount to anything at the halfway house. The entertainment industry is SO easy to break into…

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The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.