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What a day I had yesterday | Seamus O'Sparks

What a day I had yesterday

By Seamus O'Sparks on October 25, 2012 — 1 min read

What a day I had yesterday. So, the head Nazgul walks into the resale shop I work at and asks if we have the one ring of power. I ask him to be more specific. And he says, “It was forged in the fires of Mount Doom!” and I told him that we did. Then I told him the price. Well, he goes Bolshevik and starts stinkin’ and hissin’ and after some rank words I tell him that the best I can do is 20% off. And he yawps about Mordor this, and stolen property that, and returning it to its master. So I’m like please show me some legal documentation of ownership. Then he pulls out a copy of The Silmarilion. I tell him that it’s not a “legal document” and that he could print the whole thing on his member and it still would not stand up in court(stole that from Slappy White btw). Then he threatens to tell all his friends about our crooked operation AND that he will go to the better business bureau. And I tell him he can go to the devil for all I cared. Then we start to tussle. And he says, “Fool, no man can kill me.” So I push up my glasses and say,”Oh, but I can annoy you, sir. I can most assuredly annoy you.” And he says, “I know, I read your Facebook posts.” Even the undead are determined to break my balls when out bargain hunting. It’s a dumb world. BUT, CHASCA PLAYS AT TAXI’S Tomorrow! STARTS AT 10:00 p.m. WEAR YOUR COSTUMES!!!


Posted in: Chasca

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.