Thanksgiving is now a memory. I ate so much turkey. I ate so much turkey that I had dreams about being a turkey. And in these dreams I was a turkey and onstage and everybody was eating at me. Everyone, picking and eating at me. You’re so smart, what does that mean? What is my turkey troubled subconscious trying to tell me? At least I seemed to be delicious, right? Man, I hope these dreams go away soon. And what about Christmas when I eat myself sick on buttery squid? Someone, anyone, straighten me out here!