People are real worked up about the transgender bathroom issue By Seamus O'Sparks on June 5, 2016 — 1 min read People are real worked up about the transgender bathroom issue. I think people should go potty wherever they’re comfortable. I feel best when I go outside. I love it. And the badgers and bees never give me any static about it. From now on, just to be a stinker, I’m going to eat a bunch... More
Poem By Seamus O'Sparks on June 30, 2015 — 1 min read He’s a real crowd pleaser My friend who lives in our toilet MY PET WASP WIESER! More
I owe all of you who talk about the Illuminati a huge apology By Seamus O'Sparks on January 11, 2015 — 1 min read I owe all of you who talk about the Illuminati a huge apology for being a little skeptical about anything you will ever say about anything ever. I’m sorry, now, that I ever learned how to think critically-stupid Socrates. This guy just came into my house to use my phone(yay land line!). He was Illuminati.... More
OU est Bruce Jenner avec mon croque madame? By Seamus O'Sparks on November 11, 2014 — 1 min read OU est Bruce Jenner avec mon croque madame? Zut Alors! Tu me plais! Je m’appelle Jerome. Je suis malade. Je dois utiliser les toilettes. Vous pouvez me laisser tranquille maintenant, s’il vous plait? More
I got bit at work yesterday By Seamus O'Sparks on June 29, 2013 — 1 min read I got bit at work yesterday. A customer bit me because I wouldn’t honor a coupon. The coupon was for Wendy’s. I don’t work at Wendy’s. People use our toilet all the time at work and then they bite me and call me “son” and complain about the prices and they don’t believe that Oswald... More
I was drinking out of the toilet in the men’s room last night By Seamus O'Sparks on July 31, 2012 — 1 min read I was drinking out of the toilet in the men’s room last night. It was at a place called The Dusty Ogre. It’s my favorite hang out y’all. I can say things there like, “Crack is whack” and “Get you some!” And people get it, you know? So in walks this chubby woman with an... More
BULL SHARKS: the most dangerous sharks! By Seamus O'Sparks on June 2, 2011 — 1 min read BULL SHARKS: the most dangerous sharks! They cruise the shallows and even swim up rivers. One attacked a woman though the toilet once. Some come inland as far as Austin and learn to talk American.Lots of them find work in politics and the entertainment industry. I dated one once and though the sex was AWESOME,... More