I dared, I tried By Seamus O'Sparks on August 1, 2017 — 1 min read I dared to live I lived to try Too dirty to love Too dear to I Dire devilry Revelry wry Weird delivery Dreary was I I tried to write I dared to try Too tired to dread Too wired to die More
The Bones of Cuauhtémoc By Seamus O'Sparks on March 30, 2017 — 28 mins read The Bones of Cuauhtémoc -He dreams and dreams Kiko and the lavender moon- An hour out of Laredo we stopped for gas at an all-night convenience store. We were heading towards Brownsville Texas on US Route 83. The van smelled like stale sweat, salted nuts, and sour farts. That was the way rock n roll... More
Did Led Zeppelin die By Seamus O'Sparks on August 6, 2016 — 1 min read Question: Did Led Zeppelin die and if so, did he really sell his soul to the devil? More
I was feeling the shakes…the dark ones… By Seamus O'Sparks on July 13, 2016 — 1 min read I was feeling the shakes…the dark ones…the ones that come from the basement of that rotten palace of wisdom. I was shakey(sic) and picking up refuse and filling a wheelbarrow and it was hotter than Oscar Wilde with a hard-on for Ganymede. Sun and debris and detox and the stink of heat on garbage and... More
OMG Y’ALL-I just listened to ‘Stairway to Heaven’ backwards By Seamus O'Sparks on August 29, 2015 — 1 min read OMG Y’ALL-I just listened to ‘Stairway to Heaven’ backwards. I heard stuff. Disturbing stuff. Stuff like this: “Here’s to my sweet Satan.” “The other path would make me sad whose power is Satan.” “He’ll give those with him 666.” “There was a little tool shed where he made us suffer, sad Satan.” “Sad Satan.” and,... More
WARNING-TRUE STORY-SCARY STUFF-DON’T READ IF YOU ARE A NERVOUS PERSON-REALLY HAPPENED-SHOCKING TRUTH-SEX By Seamus O'Sparks on October 21, 2014 — 3 mins read Oh my heck did I have a rough night…So rough that my grammar and syntax and word choice might be kinda’ iffy here. I felt a little blue yesterday so I went to the saloon. There I was, sitting at the bar drinking my milk, when who should walk in but the Dark Prince himself.... More
I got bit at work yesterday By Seamus O'Sparks on June 29, 2013 — 1 min read I got bit at work yesterday. A customer bit me because I wouldn’t honor a coupon. The coupon was for Wendy’s. I don’t work at Wendy’s. People use our toilet all the time at work and then they bite me and call me “son” and complain about the prices and they don’t believe that Oswald... More
JUST IN TIME FOR HALLOWEEN By Seamus O'Sparks on October 31, 2012 — 1 min read JUST IN TIME FOR HALLOWEEN: Yesterday I took the bus to Austin. It was crowded. I had this rotund Korean guy plop down next to me. He took up all my space and time. He took up everything but my soul. In front of him there was this wiry little fud with big bug glasses.... More
What a day I had yesterday By Seamus O'Sparks on October 25, 2012 — 1 min read What a day I had yesterday. So, the head Nazgul walks into the resale shop I work at and asks if we have the one ring of power. I ask him to be more specific. And he says, “It was forged in the fires of Mount Doom!” and I told him that we did. Then... More
I just got my computer back from the doctor By Seamus O'Sparks on September 13, 2012 — 1 min read I just got my computer back from the doctor. It had a virus. A little virtual V.D. as it were. I look at way too much porn online. The guy who fixed my computer knows it, I know it, you know it, the devil knows it, even my dear dentist knows it. Maybe that’s why... More