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Tag: Johnny Depp

SPARKS FOR CITY COUNCIL???

By Seamus O'Sparks on February 10, 2017 — 3 mins read

LONG POST-MONDO BITCHIN’-SPARKS FOR CITY COUNCIL??? I think I may have to run so that I can lick San Marcos into shape. I’m tired of all the bitching so my goal is to make San Marcos: THE BITCHINEST CITY IN THE WORLD!!! I’ll run on the Farce Party ticket. As a local celebrity I can... More

I missed the deadline for registering to run for office

By Seamus O'Sparks on August 29, 2014 — 1 min read

I missed the deadline for registering to run for office. I would run on the Superstenial Party Ticket and if I were to run here are a FEW of my platform planks: Build giant statue of Johnny Depp in town square Change name of town to Wal-Mart City Make it legal to smoke anything in... More

It’s been so long since we last spoke

By Seamus O'Sparks on December 7, 2012 — 1 min read

Hi there! It’s been so long since we last spoke. I’ve been busy up at The North Pole! That’s right, I got a new job!!! And as you know things are really hopping at The North Pole this time of year. I spend my days with a fat man and a bunch of yawping little... More

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.