I just got my rejection letter from The Illuminati By Seamus O'Sparks on April 12, 2017 — 1 min read I really could use some positive vibes and hugs today. I just got my rejection letter from The Illuminati. I’m pretty bummed out. First The New Yorker and now these guys. Doesn’t anyone like me? Meh… Here’s what they wrote: Dear Seamus, You are most definitely not Illuminati material. We are a group of powerful... More
This afternoon the bear and I (Junior Scott) will be ON THE AIR By Seamus O'Sparks on September 15, 2016 — 1 min read This afternoon the bear and I (Junior Scott) will be ON THE AIR-A BEAR ON THE AIR- from 5:15ish to 6:00 pm!!! Tune into KTSW San Marcos 89.9 FM!!! We’ll be there with Lauren Lyman to promote Voyager Music Festival 2016…I suspect we’ll also get hips deep in the conspiracy theories. WE’RE BLOWING THE LID... More
Is the Illuminati responsible for the disappearance of the Hamburglar? By Seamus O'Sparks on September 8, 2016 — 1 min read Is the Illuminati responsible for the disappearance of the Hamburglar? Notice how the capital “i” and lower case “l”s in “Illuminati” look the same😳? WHY CAN’T I BE A STUPID ILLUMINATO😒 More
Hey, I need some advice By Seamus O'Sparks on August 27, 2016 — 1 min read Hey, I need some advice. I was reading about the secret initiation rites of the Illuminati. It’s pretty perverse-all the sex and drugs and John Denver music. Definitely my kind of scene. Do any of you know how I can join the Illuminati? I’m pretty sharp (almost 1,000 on my S.A.T.). Is there some kind... More
I owe all of you who talk about the Illuminati a huge apology By Seamus O'Sparks on January 11, 2015 — 1 min read I owe all of you who talk about the Illuminati a huge apology for being a little skeptical about anything you will ever say about anything ever. I’m sorry, now, that I ever learned how to think critically-stupid Socrates. This guy just came into my house to use my phone(yay land line!). He was Illuminati.... More