I was arguing with my neighbor about why I was better than all that when I got struck by an epiphany… By Seamus O'Sparks on May 6, 2017 — 1 min read …or an Epipen…or a pen knife. Doesn’t matter, they came at me and I prevailed. After the dust-up, I had a moment of clarity. It’s funny what we humans choose to fight over. We’re pretty calm when dealing with someone who doesn’t cotton to objective truth. Dig this, if you say “the sky is blue”... More
Glad to see another trend sweeping FB By Seamus O'Sparks on April 28, 2017 — 1 min read We need trends. Here’s a list of 10 non-fiction books I have written but couldn’t get published. One of them is a lie, the rest are just tedious. How to Score With Babes When They Find You Repulsive When God Closes a Door He Opens a Window- A Christian Guide to Burglary Binge Your Way... More
Wiley, Don’t join the Navy By Seamus O'Sparks on August 23, 2016 — 1 min read A Poem (with minor edits) to Wiley Koepp entitled: Wiley, Don’t join the Navy Wiley, don’t join the Navy They cover all your food in gravy And make you mop When the seas are wavy Out at sea, you’ll see It’s not a place you’ll like to be You’ll be sorry on the water When... More
I was feeling the shakes…the dark ones… By Seamus O'Sparks on July 13, 2016 — 1 min read I was feeling the shakes…the dark ones…the ones that come from the basement of that rotten palace of wisdom. I was shakey(sic) and picking up refuse and filling a wheelbarrow and it was hotter than Oscar Wilde with a hard-on for Ganymede. Sun and debris and detox and the stink of heat on garbage and... More
This Saturday- Chasca gets its Swan Dive on By Seamus O'Sparks on May 17, 2016 — 1 min read This Saturday- Chasca gets its Swan Dive on-it will be good to be back in the LAND OF THE FREAKS!!! Great line up with Ocean of Stars, Remanon, and Donella Drive! Presented by Wicked Bad Concerts! This music thing is a mad sloppy hustle…just like trying to get laid or stand up… SO-come get some... More
MIKE WROTE BACK!!!! By Seamus O'Sparks on April 30, 2016 — 3 mins read MIKE WROTE BACK!!!! Hi Seamus O Sparks, Thank you for reaching out. I enjoyed your music a lot and thought it might be beneficial if we talk. You should know that aside from the major record labels, there are other organizations that can help you to secure significant airplay. Most recently, we’ve been receiving some... More
Everyday at work people will ask me a question By Seamus O'Sparks on January 26, 2016 — 1 min read Everyday at work people will ask me a question and while I am answering their question they will, often sharply, cut me off and pose another question (sometimes two). Then they’ll ask to use the bathroom and really go to work. That’s when I go outside, take a deep breath, and stare directly at the... More
Wow, man, I’ve seen some pretty rotten things written by Protestants about the Pope By Seamus O'Sparks on September 27, 2015 — 1 min read Wow, man, I’ve seen some pretty rotten things written by Protestants about the Pope. Aren’t ya’ll all Christians? Jesus seemed like a pretty cool guy. Didn’t he say in Ephesians 4:32: Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” It seems, on many days, that... More
Life is full of melancholy vignettes By Seamus O'Sparks on July 14, 2015 — 1 min read Life is full of melancholy vignettes. The other day I was in Luby’s. I noticed about a dozen single men all taking their meal(s) alone. The Eric Carmen song, “All By Myself” was playing. Sometimes, it breaks my heart to see people eating alone. I looked at these men; these creatures full of joy and... More
I did something horrible By Seamus O'Sparks on January 18, 2015 — 1 min read I did something horrible. While cursing God for creating spaghetti and making me musically inclined instead of a crack shot or able to catch a ball, I channeled my frustrations into my little known second hobby: mad science. Long story short, in my fevered pique, I created the world’s first Octo-Bear-You know, for the kids.... More