Dear Union Pacific By Seamus O'Sparks on October 14, 2017 — 2 mins read Dear Union Pacific, My name is Seamus and I have a heavy tale to lay on you. On Thursday morning I was heading to work and a train was stopped on the tracks blocking everybody who was trying to get to where they were going. It was about 6:50 am and there were lots of... More
HOUSTON- Chasca is coming to EAT The Concert Pub North this FRIDAY! By Seamus O'Sparks on May 25, 2016 — 1 min read HOUSTON- Chasca is coming to EAT The Concert Pub North this FRIDAY! BEES will swarm, WOMEN will swoon, MEN will blush, DOGS will bark. We’re opening the night for Hookers & BLOW (in that order) and Don Jamieson of That Metal Show. We play at 9:30 pm. Hookers & blow and Thunderbolts and raw alligator... More
I got stung so bad by so many yellow jackets today By Seamus O'Sparks on July 29, 2015 — 1 min read I got stung so bad by so many yellow jackets today. I was working in the yard and reached under a ledge and stirred up a large nest of these bastards. They swarmed me and I started to run. They chased me down and, wouldn’t you know it, when I got to the door I... More
Gads…ye gads… Gethsemene… GOLGOTHA. What a night. By Seamus O'Sparks on November 22, 2013 — 1 min read Gads…ye gads… Gethsemene… GOLGOTHA. What a night. Hell of a night. Front’s here…hello front. Hell of a front. And I’ve eaten lotsa’ hams all damn night long. Now everything smells like hams and fat and father christmas and failure. Even my cat has that doomed look on his prissy cat face. What a bummer man.... More
I’ve been listening to the new CHASCA CD By Seamus O'Sparks on October 7, 2013 — 1 min read I’ve been listening to the new CHASCA CD. It sounds GREAT! We’re really excited about it all and we spared NO EXPENSE in its production and manufacture. I got a chance to play the whole CD for Rod Stewart this weekend. He reacted by taking the CD and smashing it to pieces and then tearing... More
I was menaced by dogs on my morning run By Seamus O'Sparks on October 18, 2011 — 1 min read I was menaced by dogs on my morning run. These were mean dogs, all growling and baring their teeth. Some cur even pulled a bowie knife on me. One of the dog’s fat devil owners came out and I said, “Can you ask Cerberus to heel, please?” He said, “He ain’t gonna’ hurt yew.” I... More
The new Planet of the Apes movie is coming out By Seamus O'Sparks on August 3, 2011 — 1 min read The new Planet of the Apes movie is coming out. I’m not afraid of living on a planet of the apes. In 1957, the Soviets put a dog into space. The Americans responded by putting a monkey into space. The Soviets countered by putting an alligator into space. The Americans reacted by putting a puma... More
At the bar last night I tried to use a bee dance to attract some lovers By Seamus O'Sparks on July 27, 2011 — 1 min read At the bar last night I tried to use a bee dance to attract some lovers. I zigged, I zagged, I buzzed to and fro. The women still had a dark place in their hearts for me. A cowboy shoved me and called me UnAmerican. A dog snarled. I was stripped naked and run out... More
I was attacked by a pack of large hairless dogs By Seamus O'Sparks on February 7, 2011 — 1 min read I was attacked by a pack of large hairless dogs. They shredded my flesh to the bone and gnawed on my skull until I cried uncle. I was saved by a priest who assured me that there would be hobos in heaven and left me with a pamphlet called, “Pipsqueaks in the hands of an... More