Ode on a Rotten Tooth By Seamus O'Sparks on November 21, 2016 — 1 min read Everyone loves high minded poetry on FB, so here is something I did that will KNOCK YOUR TEETH OUT!!! Ode on a Rotten Tooth Thou still enameled bride of mastication Thou muncher of carrots and slow time Dentin historian, who does express A pearly tale more dulcet than This Rhyme What crowning legends haunts about... More
I was at the dentist just a little while ago By Seamus O'Sparks on March 23, 2016 — 1 min read I was at the dentist just a little while ago. They numbed half of my face up. My tongue was totally dead (still is). I get worried because it feels like a big lump of jellied eel and I was scared that I would swallow it. To allay this fear I tried to keep it... More
Today I go to the dentist for extensive surgery By Seamus O'Sparks on November 25, 2014 — 1 min read Today I go to the dentist for extensive surgery. Wish me luck! I’m having all of my teeth removed and replaced with baleen. It’s part of this new health craze that’s sweeping the nation: The Cetacean Diet. So, next time you see me I’ll be a filter feeder. That’s right. If I you ask me... More
So, I went to the dentist today and it’s official: I have jaw rot By Seamus O'Sparks on June 27, 2014 — 1 min read So, I went to the dentist today and it’s official: I have jaw rot. My whole mouth is a bio-scandalous monument to the perils of GINGIVITIS. I got a whole slew of other dental problems too and the wretched mandibles to prove it. BUT-that won’t stop the Chasca show at TRIPLE CROWN this Saturday. My... More
I just got my computer back from the doctor By Seamus O'Sparks on September 13, 2012 — 1 min read I just got my computer back from the doctor. It had a virus. A little virtual V.D. as it were. I look at way too much porn online. The guy who fixed my computer knows it, I know it, you know it, the devil knows it, even my dear dentist knows it. Maybe that’s why... More