A Poem, by damn, When he Should be Filling out Applications for a New Life By Seamus O'Sparks on August 2, 2017 — 1 min read I wish I had a huge cock Something to split the crotch of the world While death jerked me off I’d name my penis, “Burps.” “Easy Burps” I’d say Then I’d do all the porno The women would make a bug-eyed squirm And the men would wiggle in doubt I’d love the life Lips to... More
This looked like a fun study break… By Seamus O'Sparks on April 19, 2017 — 1 min read Using only ONE word… It’s not as easy as you think! Where is your phone? Here Your hair? Lackluster Your dad? Dead Your favorite food? Caloric Your dream last night? Wet Your favorite drink? Horchata Fear? Hillbillies Favorite Shoes? Heels Favorite way to relax? Masturbate Your mood? Irritable I love? Tits Where were you last... More
Everyday at work people will ask me a question By Seamus O'Sparks on January 26, 2016 — 1 min read Everyday at work people will ask me a question and while I am answering their question they will, often sharply, cut me off and pose another question (sometimes two). Then they’ll ask to use the bathroom and really go to work. That’s when I go outside, take a deep breath, and stare directly at the... More
MONEY CAN’T BUY HAPPINESS By Seamus O'Sparks on June 6, 2015 — 1 min read MONEY CAN’T BUY HAPPINESS: A number of years ago I experienced a miracle. I put my hand in the window sill (for reasons I can’t remember now) and my finger was bitten by some half-wit insect whose identity I couldn’t make at the time. My finger(index/right hand) developed a painful bump. On the tip of... More
three positive things By Seamus O'Sparks on July 18, 2014 — 1 min read I have been challenged by my friend Amanda Bloodgood to write three positive things and here they are: I’m grateful that I can pee standing up I love burping I am blessed to live in a time when free hardcore pornography is abundant and accessible at the click of a button. LIFE ROCKS! More
Today is very sad for me By Seamus O'Sparks on June 28, 2013 — 1 min read Today is very sad for me. My beloved pet cockroach, Burps, died this morning. It was a terrible accident. I feel very sad and depressed. Burps was a great pal who always managed to brighten my day. His delicate exoskeleton contained a heart as big as the Volga. Please keep Burps and I in your... More