Seamus O Sparks checked in to Christian Gifts Outlet. By Seamus O'Sparks on April 14, 2016 — 1 min read This place rocks! I finally found the “Happy To Be Me” Jesus doll…you know, the one with the paunchier and less idealized/objectified body design. And they have a deal going; buy two gospel author disciple action figures and get a James the Lesser for 1/2 off the original price! More
One week in Guam By Seamus O'Sparks on December 25, 2013 — 1 min read About to board the plane! SO EXCITED!! One week in Guam! Can’t wait to eat some first rate Maug and then breed with the locals! Might dash over to Pitcairn Isle and get loose and weird with Fletcher Christian’s descendants too! Here’s to death by pleasure!!! happy chrimble More
Seamus O Sparks in Butts County, Georgia. By Seamus O'Sparks on November 23, 2013 — 1 min read The butts are so beautiful here this time of year… More
Seamus O Sparks at RuffleButts. By Seamus O'Sparks on October 21, 2013 — 1 min read Man, this ain’t the kinda’ joint I presumed it to be. Can’t ever show my mug in here again… Yikes, the BIG PIG! More
Seamus O Sparks at Penis Palace. By Seamus O'Sparks on September 15, 2013 — 1 min read So, you Think you know everything there is to know about penis? Pretty cocky aren’t you? Well, unless you’ve been to PENIS PALACE, you DON’T KNOW DICK!!! Thank you PENIS PALACE! More
Seamus O Sparks at Yumm With A Squirt. By Seamus O'Sparks on September 14, 2013 — 1 min read The Yumm was much more pleasant than the Squirt. Much more pleasant…. More
Seamus O Sparks at Captain Stinky Foots By Seamus O'Sparks on September 14, 2013 — 1 min read Man, excellent breakfast sandwich here! I had the hungry frog special! I feel so full and spacey! If you want a breakfast feast tell them to unleash the beast-bring out the captain’s platter feast!!! You’re satisfaction will be increased!!! So, grab the little one’s and set sail got Captain Stinku Foots!!! The only thing that... More
Seamus O Sparks at Church of Scientology Portland. By Seamus O'Sparks on September 14, 2013 — 1 min read Oh crumbs, I came in to take a leak and ended up staying for a free audit… Turns out I’m crawling with Thetans… And crabs. They told me they could help me with both and I got a free Battlefield Earth T-Shirt. Forward my mail, it looks like I may be here awhile… More
Seamus O Sparks at Titty Twister. By Seamus O'Sparks on September 14, 2013 — 1 min read Man, watch out at this place. The chicks come on STRONG here. I had to tell one of these poor girls that they would have a better time finding a nice boy if they played a little more hard to get. She just mumbled something back… Is peckerwood an insult? More
Seamus O Sparks at Fong’s Cafe. By Seamus O'Sparks on September 14, 2013 — 1 min read Perfect place to bust my hunger! Fong’s has it ALL! I recommend the pulverized squirrel with poo-pee dressing, the egg fried chum with girl sauce, and for an appetizer I always get the bludgeoned dwarf and dysfunctional swan with extra George Takei rolls. Yum yummy-which is also good here! See you folks at Fong’s!!! More