WARNING- GROSSLY OFFENSIVE-DON’T READ! By Seamus O'Sparks on January 11, 2017 — 3 mins read WARNING- GROSSLY OFFENSIVE-DON’T READ! I think these “tell us about yourself” things on FB are kind of fun. However, I don’t think they go DEEP enough. FB is pretty superficial as it is. I say we take a giant leap forward in our internet consciousness and reveal ALL! Come on, no one is afraid of... More
My Ideal Partner Would Look Like Patricia Krenwinkel By Seamus O'Sparks on January 3, 2017 — 1 min read So, according to Facebook, my ideal partner would look like Patricia Krenwinkel. Right on-I imagine those Manson chicks were demons in the sack. But really, I’m not so shallow about things. As long as my partner were kind, loving, supportive, into threesomes, nurturing, intelligent, kinky, kind, loving, into foursomes, honest, nurturing, kind, willing to invite... More
The women on OKcupid are a bunch of jive By Seamus O'Sparks on May 3, 2016 — 1 min read The women on OKcupid are a bunch of jive. They keep grousing at me about all the “dick pics” I send them. Don’t they know how much trouble I went through to get those? All those hours in the men’s restrooms and gym showers, all those beatings, all the court costs… It really hardens my... More
MISSING: ONE VIRGINITY By Seamus O'Sparks on April 1, 2016 — 1 min read MISSING: ONE VIRGINITY LAST SEEN: 3/18/ 89 William Cannon Drive, Austin Texas Description: awkward, nervous, immature, slightly disappointed REWARD OFFERED FOR INFORMATION ON OR RETURN OF VIRGINTY Virginity means a lot to owner-sentimental value (was with him since birth). Please call 830-358-6642 with info… or offer for three (plus) some. Ask for “Randy.” Thanks More
I need to find a new swingers SEX group, pronto By Seamus O'Sparks on March 5, 2016 — 1 min read I need to find a new swingers SEX group, pronto. The one I’ve been going to is filled with knuckleheads who keep asking me heavy questions like: ‘Who are you” and “What are you doing here?” Plus they meet only once a month and only ever talk about the book they just read. This month... More
The last time I made love By Seamus O'Sparks on January 26, 2016 — 1 min read The last time I made love I was told that I was “TERRIBLE AND MAJESTIC” and I was like well your music still SUCKS Madonna. I can’t believe she’s my cousin… More
One big slashing shame is enough to make the soul recalibrate and correct its tendency to cultivate and tolerate corruption of a thousand sinful cuts… By Seamus O'Sparks on February 19, 2015 — 1 min read One big slashing shame is enough to make the soul recalibrate and correct its tendency to cultivate and tolerate corruption of a thousand sinful cuts…In other words, it’s okay to join an orgy every now and again-it tends to make you a nicer person. And tomorrow night will be a “NICE” time I’m sure. More