KLBJ BLOCKED MY EMAIL!!! >:( By Seamus O'Sparks on January 9, 2019 — 2 mins read Can one or all of you please tell the world via your FB that KLBJ blocked me from sending emails to them. I’ve sent a few emails their way, the last was to the Bob and Dudley show asking them to plug my autobiography on the air. The book is about my life as a... More
Published! By Seamus O'Sparks on November 2, 2017 — 1 min read Thanks everyone for the Bday wishes! Much <3 to you all. And here’s another miracle: my first article ever has been published in Action Magazine! It’s my degenerate piece on SXSW. Thanks Sam Kindrick for taking a chance on a chronic ne’er do well! The piece is being run in two installments. Click this link... More
Urban Cowboy Progeny By Seamus O'Sparks on October 27, 2017 — 1 min read Just imagine: if Bud and Pam had made a go of it and produced offspring, the chin dimple on that little bastard would have been UNSTOPPABLE…could catch a bullet in that thing. More
Letter to LA Lloyd By Seamus O'Sparks on October 22, 2017 — 4 mins read Letter to LA Lloyd- Program Director at KLBJ Fm 93.7 Dear LA Lloyd, Hi, my name is Seamus. I know that my email says James Martin, but that’s because of some troubled communication between Google and I. I’ll straighten those hucksters out in due time, don’t worry. Anyway, I wanted to bring something to your... More
Dear Union Pacific By Seamus O'Sparks on October 14, 2017 — 2 mins read Dear Union Pacific, My name is Seamus and I have a heavy tale to lay on you. On Thursday morning I was heading to work and a train was stopped on the tracks blocking everybody who was trying to get to where they were going. It was about 6:50 am and there were lots of... More
Oh Say Can You Kneel: All mouth and no soul, welcome to the new American way By Seamus O'Sparks on September 27, 2017 — 4 mins read The Facebook has been burning the laughing fire over this football-kneeling-national anthem imbroglio. And man do I love it! Threads filled with screaming human drama; opinions hurled, feelings hurt, teeth bared-heads up. It’s definitely what I signed up for when I slithered on to this toxic piece of 21st century Neverland called social media. It... More
How to not get published…EVER By Seamus O'Sparks on September 26, 2017 — 1 min read Dear Seamus, Thanks for sending us “Ear Worms.” We’re sorry to say that it’s not right for The Sun. This isn’t a reflection on your writing. The selection process is highly subjective, something of a mystery even to us. There’s no telling what we’ll fall in love with, what we’ll let get away. Writing is... More
Parenthood By Seamus O'Sparks on September 23, 2017 — 1 min read In fact, I love my children so much I decided to spare them the hassles, horrors, and humbug of life by not conceiving them. I’m freakin parent of the millennium over here 😁 More
Young White Slim Blond By Seamus O'Sparks on September 22, 2017 — 1 min read Young, white, slim, blond Arrogant as an atom bomb So much so That when I asked the clerk A question about cigarettes Young white slim blond Took the liberty Of impatiently answering It made me want to crack her skull open Pull out her brain And remove her ego So that I could pinpoint Exactly... More
Jeepers, it’s a troubled and tremulous world out there By Seamus O'Sparks on September 21, 2017 — 1 min read Jeepers, it’s a troubled and tremulous world out there. I don’t care what the signs say anywhere, in the interest of my own peace of mind I am going to conceal carry my penis from now on. I don’t want to be having breakfast when some satyr/nymph type shows up looking to make mischief. NOT... More