Did you know that Air Supply has a version of, “Walking in a Winter Wonderland?” By Seamus O'Sparks on December 23, 2015 — 1 min read Did you know that Air Supply has a version of, “Walking in a Winter Wonderland?” I just heard it. I’m not sure how to describe it. Imagine the song, “Walking in a Winter Wonderland” but with Air Supply doing it. Now add a children’s choir. The line between schmaltz and death grows thinner each year.... More
Do you ever wonder why certain songs are included in some radio station’s Christmas playlists? By Seamus O'Sparks on December 23, 2015 — 2 mins read Do you ever wonder why certain songs are included in some radio station’s Christmas playlists? I do. I wrote Majic 95.5 to see if they could shed a light on things: HI there! I listen to your Christmas station while at work. That means I get to hear hours and hours of you guys everyday.... More
EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH SANTA CLAUS By Seamus O'Sparks on December 21, 2015 — 2 mins read EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH SANTA CLAUS (LONG POST WARNING) SEAMUS: Hi Santa, thanks for being here. It really is an honor to meet you. SANTA: Thank you (coughs). Thanks. SEAMUS: So, there are so many things people would like to know. I think I’ll start by asking, why have you taken such a long leave of... More
Do you know how many versions of the song, “Last Christmas” there are? By Seamus O'Sparks on December 19, 2015 — 1 min read Do you know how many versions of the song, “Last Christmas” there are? 139. That’s right-there are 139 versions of that delightfully tender Yuletide classic. And I think I heard every single one of them at work yesterday. It’s hard to imagine anyone being able to improve upon Wham’s original heart blown opus. A few... More
Nothing gets me down! By Seamus O'Sparks on December 28, 2014 — 1 min read Nothing gets me down! I have an unshakeable belief in the possible and a firm commitment to the extraordinary. That’s the cornerstone of my superstentialist world view. Now then, there was a heavyset All-American couple in their 60s who came into my store yesterday. It looked like they shared a single lung. When I told... More
Oh, quick Christmas question By Seamus O'Sparks on December 25, 2014 — 1 min read Oh, quick Christmas question: Is the reason why we eat ham for Christmas because Jesus was born in Bethleham? More
Life is full of rejections By Seamus O'Sparks on August 27, 2014 — 2 mins read Life is full of rejections-so have FUN with it! A U.K. magazine just rejected my short story, ‘The X-Mas Miracle.’ That means that all of my submissions were rejected. OINK! I had to write them back to thank them for their time: Hi Dan, Thanks for the kind notice of rejection. I appreciate you taking... More
December is an endurance contest By Seamus O'Sparks on December 13, 2013 — 1 min read December is an endurance contest. This year is no different. In honor of the season I’m going to listen to Christmas music, non-stop, from now until my rectum bleeds. More
I did it! By Seamus O'Sparks on November 29, 2011 — 1 min read I did it! I got a HUGE part in the upcoming community Christmas recital. I will be playing Chongo the Christmas Gorilla. It’s a little known fact that there was a gorilla at the nativity. Some Nubian trader who was staying at the inn brought him and he got loose and ran amuck. I think... More
Thanksgiving is now a memory By Seamus O'Sparks on November 28, 2011 — 1 min read Thanksgiving is now a memory. I ate so much turkey. I ate so much turkey that I had dreams about being a turkey. And in these dreams I was a turkey and onstage and everybody was eating at me. Everyone, picking and eating at me. You’re so smart, what does that mean? What is my... More