When discussing history… By Seamus O'Sparks on March 28, 2017 — 4 mins read …I frequently hear people say, “they didn’t even TRY to teach us that in school.” This amuses me for reasons that are too vast to go into on a FB post. People also like to invoke history to back up their, oftentimes, political position, i.e. Republicans are more sympathetic to the cause(s) of minorities because... More
PLEASE READ: THIS IS THE MOST EXCITING (non-sensual) THING I HAVE EVER DONE! By Seamus O'Sparks on April 10, 2014 — 1 min read PLEASE READ: THIS IS THE MOST EXCITING (non-sensual) THING I HAVE EVER DONE! People–I just made a breakthrough of epic proportions! Using my skills as a historian, knowledge of literary devices, and continuing studies of Anthropology and Theology I have finally found the key to reconciling the Creation Vs. Evolution schism. After scrutinizing the Book... More
Crassus was appointed as the Governor of Roman Syria By Seamus O'Sparks on March 5, 2014 — 1 min read Crassus was appointed as the Governor of Roman Syria. Crassus used Syria as the launchpad for a military campaign against the Parthian Empire, Rome’s long-time Eastern enemy. Crassus’ campaign was a disastrous failure. Crassus’ men, being near mutiny, demanded he parley with the Parthians, resulting in his defeat and death at the Battle of Carrhae.... More
First Draft of the Declaration of Independence! By Seamus O'Sparks on July 2, 2013 — 1 min read Here’s an amazing new historical discovery-Sheldon Sneed-Associate Professor of Human Studies at the University of Boomerton unearthed a rare first draft of the Declaration of Independence. Here it is, uncensored for the first time: Dear George, You treacherous little fruitbat! You have no idea what kind of a shitstorm you and your pals have unleashed... More
Brace yourselves for an astounding new anthropological theory! By Seamus O'Sparks on June 7, 2013 — 1 min read Brace yourselves for an astounding new anthropological theory! A couple of scientists in Spain have hypothesized that modern man did indeed bring about the extinction of Neanderthal. Their theory is this-we ate ’em. Gobbled them up all gone-gone. I love this theory. It explains a lot. Homo Sapien Sapien means man the double wise. Homo... More
One Hundred and Eleven years ago today By Seamus O'Sparks on November 30, 2011 — 1 min read One Hundred and Eleven years ago today, Oscar Wilde died. Wahhhh!!!! And he took his cinnamon wit and charm with him. And the prudes of the world were so content with themselves with their high morals and low brows. November 30th, 1900-and everyone was all smiles about the 20th century…Little did they know what was... More
I have a fear of the 19th century By Seamus O'Sparks on October 14, 2011 — 1 min read I have a fear of the 19th century. I’m not sure why, it just gives me the heebie-jeebies. It seems like such a bleak time, what with all the bleak industrial settings, and Jack-The-Rippers and Ottoman Empires and swarthy immigrants and Elephant Men. I can’t even watch “A Christmas Carol” without feeling nauseous and perturbed.... More