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LONG SINCERE POST-VERY TRAGIC

By Seamus O'Sparks on March 29, 2016 — 2 mins read

LONG SINCERE POST-VERY TRAGIC Hi everyone, this is J.T. (Seamus) from Chasca. I’m afraid I have terrible news. I died last night. Yeah-I ate a surfeit of lampreys (the king killer) and keeled over about an hour later while I was watching my favorite porno, “The Sperminator.” It was wretched. I just wanted everyone to... More

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.