New Restaurant Idea for San Marcos By Seamus O'Sparks on April 30, 2017 — 1 min read Dear San Marcos Planning & Zoning, My name is Seamus. I am an entreprenuer in the restaurant business and would like to open an eatery in your community. As you well know, there are currently many famous restaurants oriented around the theme of the female body. Specifically, the breast region has been a popular trope... More
Death by Rhythm Section By Seamus O'Sparks on March 25, 2016 — 1 min read Death by Rhythm Section An Original Poem by Seamus O Sparks Look at these guys, they’re so mean They make me eat bugs when we’re in the alley changing Then they laugh and slap each other a high five They’re jive Wiley’s always cross with me and Junior never lets me have a bite of... More
You know what EVERYONE likes to read on FB? POETRY! By Seamus O'Sparks on February 23, 2015 — 1 min read You know what EVERYONE likes to read on FB? POETRY! So, here’s a poem to get your week started with rare and raw brio. I dedicate this work in progress to EVERYONE who serves the public-my brothers and sisters in arms! Service with a smile If, when you shop, you make a sport Of bitching... More
Be careful in this world, people By Seamus O'Sparks on May 16, 2014 — 1 min read Be careful in this world, people. Be so careful. I had minor surgery this week. Nothing big, they just had to reconnect some things. When I came out from under the anesthesia my whole tummy had been crammed full of burgers. How’d that happen? Was someone having fun at my expense? At my expanse??? 🙁... More
I was drinking out of the toilet in the men’s room last night By Seamus O'Sparks on July 31, 2012 — 1 min read I was drinking out of the toilet in the men’s room last night. It was at a place called The Dusty Ogre. It’s my favorite hang out y’all. I can say things there like, “Crack is whack” and “Get you some!” And people get it, you know? So in walks this chubby woman with an... More
From now on I am only eating CHINESE food By Seamus O'Sparks on March 10, 2012 — 1 min read From now on I am only eating CHINESE food. And it’s all because of the newest place in town, Captain Wa Presents The Hunrgy Gnome’s Kitchen. From now on I am disrespectful to hamburgers. This place is the best! Today I had: Fried Gum, Horse Whipped Swan in Girl Sauce, Porked Fish, General Fong’s Frost... More