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Seamus O'Sparks Musings of an Eccentric
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Tag: ham

I was bitten by my pet turtle today

By Seamus O'Sparks on January 22, 2016 — 1 min read

I was bitten by my pet turtle today. His name is Regular Mike. I was feeding him ham when he bit me. I may lose a finger. It’s my lucky finger. Could you please vote for me and my little band. We’ve had lots of hard luck with the turtles and falcons lately and could... More

Oh, quick Christmas question

By Seamus O'Sparks on December 25, 2014 — 1 min read

Oh, quick Christmas question: Is the reason why we eat ham for Christmas because Jesus was born in Bethleham? More

Gads…ye gads… Gethsemene… GOLGOTHA. What a night.

By Seamus O'Sparks on November 22, 2013 — 1 min read

Gads…ye gads… Gethsemene… GOLGOTHA. What a night. Hell of a night. Front’s here…hello front. Hell of a front. And I’ve eaten lotsa’ hams all damn night long. Now everything smells like hams and fat and father christmas and failure. Even my cat has that doomed look on his prissy cat face. What a bummer man.... More

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.