Stay Away from People By Seamus O'Sparks on August 14, 2017 — 2 mins read Stay away from people Because they are ready for you Ready to fink you out They do it out of love The nuclear missile The four horsemen Shit-now we probably have five (horseman that is). The pigs eating the streets chink-spic-nigger-faggot-bollio (AND LOOK THAT (bollio) ONE UP BECAUSE I GOT CALLED THAT MORE TIMES GROWING... More
Thoughts while eating Pad Thai after therapy By Seamus O'Sparks on July 18, 2017 — 1 min read There is the word, there is man Of the world, and the light To puke his way past To reason his way out Liver of life Dier of deaths He can’t remember when the sun wasn’t a hard-boiled egg yolk Stuck to the sky The man, created he shopping malls and soda pop in his... More
Most of you know about my long dark personal struggle with addiction to drugs, booze, porn, sex, food, gambling, and shoplifting By Seamus O'Sparks on September 24, 2016 — 1 min read Most of you know about my long dark personal struggle with addiction to drugs, booze, porn, sex, food, gambling, and shoplifting. I want to thank you all…wait, actually almost none of you know about my long dark personal struggle with addiction to drugs, booze, porn, sex, food, gambling, shoplifting, and catapults. Damn it. Now I’m... More
Hey, I need some advice By Seamus O'Sparks on August 27, 2016 — 1 min read Hey, I need some advice. I was reading about the secret initiation rites of the Illuminati. It’s pretty perverse-all the sex and drugs and John Denver music. Definitely my kind of scene. Do any of you know how I can join the Illuminati? I’m pretty sharp (almost 1,000 on my S.A.T.). Is there some kind... More
I had the most fantastic dream last night By Seamus O'Sparks on August 25, 2016 — 1 min read I had the most fantastic dream last night. I dreamt that a bird was “buzzing” me. In response I began to reshape my head (which had the feel and consistency of clay) into a long thin tube. I grabbed a basket and worked my noodly dome into it. As my head lay coiled in the... More
Ye dogs… So, it seems, I am a very needy prig… By Seamus O'Sparks on December 29, 2015 — 1 min read Ye dogs… So, it seems, I am a very needy prig…I endlessly ask for your support, and hustle you into coming to shows. I plead for your money and scam drugs and sex. I have to borrow your phones and sneak cabbages from your pantries…and now this puny request:PLEASE CLICK ON THE PHOTO AND WRITE... More
I think I have the hand of GOD By Seamus O'Sparks on May 8, 2013 — 1 min read I think I have the hand of GOD. I carry around a duffel bag. It has very deep side compartment/pockets. It takes me forever to find my keys, and drugs, and porn, etc… Anything I stash in these “pockets” gets lost and takes an eternity of digging around to scrounge up. In the meantime, I... More
HAPPY NEW YEAR’S!!! By Seamus O'Sparks on January 1, 2013 — 1 min read HAPPY NEW YEAR’S!!! Thanks to everyone who came out last night to The Triple Crown! We rang in the 2013 like a pack of moon-eyed hedonist omnipaths. THANKS THANKS THANKS everybody…We should make every Monday as mordulant!!! I was so high off the show(and the drugs) that I stayed up ALL night drinking cola and... More
I just tried this new drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. By Seamus O'Sparks on March 2, 2011 — 1 min read I just tried this new drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. Wow! I feel like a Sith Lord now. You can’t spell Charlie Sheen without “Inhales Cheer!” More