And Now Some Geopolitical: Lovin’, Touchin’, SQUEEZIN!!!!

By Seamus O'Sparks on April 19, 2017 — 1 min read

Trump sent an ARMADA to put the fear into North Korea. Good to see the ARMADA is making a comeback. I was just saying the other day what a shame it was that the ARMADA has become passé. I’m no expert but it looks like, by ARMADA standards, this ARMADA was/is pretty puny. Hey, it’s like Sir Francis Drake always says, “It ain’t the size of the ARMADA, it’s the motion of the ocean.”

So, YAY ARMADA. Maybe we can dispatch some DRAGOONS and ZOUAVES to round out the mission…Oh shit, though; the ARMADA went the wrong direction…NEPTUNE’S SOGGY BALLS…yeah, they steamed about 3,000 miles in the OPPOSITE direction of Korea. Careful where you point that ARMADA there, killer.

Again, I’m no expert but-well-you know… oi…I can see the White House Press Statement when the shit turns to flame on this North Korea thing: WE have GOOD NEWS and BAD NEWS…GOOD-our invasion was a complete success. BAD-We invaded New Zealand…but we taught those fruity hobbits a lesson they won’t soon forget.

So, how about it folks. It’s a good thing WORLD WAR III won’t be a battle of wits. Kim Jong Un and Dennis Rodman VS Donald Trump and Ted Nugent…Jesus Christ. If you’re not addicted to heroin or butt fucking then you deserve the future that is coming to you…sorry, that’s a bit harsh. But then again, I’m not one of the gutless bags of shit who voted for this kind of future. KABOOM!!! Are you there God, it’s me Seamus…

I’ll say this, I think that Kim Jong Un is kind of adorable, you know, in that chubby little stinker sort of a way. With those cheeks and that haircut he looks like the naughty round bad little boy from an early 20th century children’s novel. I really just want to squeeze him-HE’S SO CUTE!!!! Evil, but cute…like my kitty cat… I’m going to go force feed myself until I get the fat sweats and then drink some sterno…it’s the only way to get there anymore. And I’m gonna be damn sure to GET THERE before the ARMADA does….

Posted in: Politics

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.