HOW TO DEAL WITH TELE-SOLICITATIONS: PAY HEED
Just got off the phone with the N.R.A. They called to ask if I wanted to become a member or make a contribution to their cause at this, “critical time.” I told the nice man that the only “firearm” I believe in hangs between my legs. He said, “Hmmm. Well would you be interested in making a small contribution anyway?” I responded with, “Sir, I’d be happy to contribute a sperm sample. Just give me five minutes to grab a ziploc, dial up a picture of Patti Lupone, and milk a specimen.” He told me how very disappointed he was. I told him it wasn’t my first time hearing such a thing when it came to my sperm. Then he hung up… Can’t wait until Blue Santa calls….
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