Warning: Use of undefined constant DATABASE_SERVER - assumed 'DATABASE_SERVER' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/wjl7ay88puji/domains/seamus.wileykoepp.com/html/wp-config.php on line 32
Hey, I need some advice | Seamus O'Sparks

Hey, I need some advice

By Seamus O'Sparks on August 27, 2016 — 1 min read

Hey, I need some advice. I was reading about the secret initiation rites of the Illuminati. It’s pretty perverse-all the sex and drugs and John Denver music. Definitely my kind of scene. Do any of you know how I can join the Illuminati? I’m pretty sharp (almost 1,000 on my S.A.T.). Is there some kind of test you can take? I took the MENSA test. Stupid MENSA. I’m weird about those kind of tests-pretty slow off the line, but formidable in the stretch. I did real well on my MRSA test. Doc said I was positive! Maybe some of you could write me a letter of recommendation? Any suggestions are appreciated-thanks!

Posted in: Advice

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.