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Wiley Koepp is NOT JOINING THE NAVY | Seamus O'Sparks


By Seamus O'Sparks on August 24, 2016 — 1 min read

I’m afraid I must offer a sincere apology for any confusion that may have resulted from the posts yesterday. It turns out that Wiley Koepp is NOT JOINING THE NAVY. I misunderstood him, it seems, when he said he was joining the “Old Navy Birthday Club.” Yeah…apparently you can get good deals on some kick ass fleece pullovers for men that way. I guess the lesson here is to make sure and talk to the person you’re concerned about rather than going off half-cocked on Facebook. Can you go off fully cocked? I think I did once in Mexico. I was really flying high with these tw…wait-that’s not why we’re here. We’re here for me to make amends to Wiley and all of you for the big misunderstanding. So; Wiley and everyone else, here is a token of my contrition. It’s a poem I call, Mea Culpa:

Hello darkness my old friend

I’m sorry I got confused
I’m sorry if I confused you
I’m sorry I rifled through your things (Junior Scott) that time while you were asleep in Brownsville
I’m sorry I was born

I’m sorry I used several of your Facebook profile pictures
To gratify my lusts
I’m sorry I said Wiley was joining the Navy
I really thought he was…
But he’s not

Posted in: Facebook, Poetry

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.