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Wiley, Don’t join the Navy | Seamus O'Sparks

Wiley, Don’t join the Navy

By Seamus O'Sparks on August 23, 2016 — 1 min read

A Poem (with minor edits) to Wiley Koepp entitled:

Wiley, Don’t join the Navy

Wiley, don’t join the Navy

They cover all your food in gravy

And make you mop

When the seas are wavy

Out at sea, you’ll see

It’s not a place you’ll like to be

You’ll be sorry on the water

When you “kiss the gunner’s daughter”

Sure, the movies make it look fun

But under the sun, you’ll wish it was done

And God forbid you have a wreck

Or slip and fall on the poop deck

The Navy’s not what you think

A ship in water’s prone to sink

It’s definitely no pleasure cruise

Or awesome movie with Tom Cruise (and Kelly Mcgillis-meow!)

Stay on land and with the band

I don’t think you understand

The perils of a seaman’s life

you have children and a wife

You’ll be keel hauled and get flogged

You’ll turn green and get grogged

You’ll get seasick, you’ll get scurvy

It’ll be just like Junior High

Posted in: Poetry

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.