FRIENDS-I am excited!

By Seamus O'Sparks on August 4, 2016 — 1 min read

FRIENDS-I am excited! You all know that I almost never get involved in politics. However, this mean season has prompted me to action. Consequently, I will be running for President of the United States!!! I will be running as a monarchist and as a member of the Neo-Loyalist Party. My platform is simple: when elected President I will return the United States to England where we will revive our former status as a colony. It’s clear to me, after much heavy observation and even heavier cogitation, that we as a people are unfit to self-govern. We’ve had a good run-this I concede, but lately we just seem bitchy and neurotic anymore. I say it’s time we take a step back and get our heads together. Please join me in this, my most important fight. It’s time we return home to the mother country. BACK TO MOTHER!!! Together we can work as concerned citizens and patriots. Together we can build a better and more tranquil tomorrow. Together we can strive to take all of our many concerns and issues and foist the trouble of resolving them on someone else. TOGETHER let’s: MAKE IT ENGLAND’S PROBLEM!!!! Please like and share-we can do it my friends. We can: MAKE IT ENGLAND’S PROBLEM!! O SPARKS 2016: MAKE IT ENGLAND’S PROBLEM!!!! I promise I will work it out so that we get our cool British accents back too-you know, as a bonus! (the sound you hear is me having GREATNESS thrust upon, well… me.) BACK TO MOTHER/MAKE IT ENGLAND’S PROBLEM!!!! O SPARKS 2016

Posted in: Politics

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.