I’m afraid I had an unsatisfactory experience with Lenovo tech support

By Seamus O'Sparks on March 9, 2016 — 1 min read

I’m afraid I had an unsatisfactory experience with Lenovo tech support:

Dear Lenovo,

I called your tech support to ask a simple question. Your staff, per instructions they are undoubtedly sworn to uphold by the men upstairs, insisted that I get signed in to an account and wanted a litany of information from me. I don’t want to be signed up, signed in, or signed-sealed-delivered for anything. I just want (or wanted) to ask a simple human-to-human question about your product. But you all don’t do that. You need to lay a hard wired 21st century hustle on someone before things can get to the homo level of sapience. It’s a soul sucking bummer to deal with this world anymore. You can’t even buy soup without the technophiliac claws of our age digging in and twisting at your nerves. So now, because I refuse to get swept up in the gross protovistic mechanics of your game, I have a nephew who is a bundle of shrieking tears and soiled britches. Tonight I will teach the bugger to abuse booze and pornography; a little old fashioned joy for our brave new world…

Posted in: Letters

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.