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It’s important to have a good dinner | Seamus O'Sparks

It’s important to have a good dinner

By Seamus O'Sparks on February 23, 2016 — 1 min read

It’s important to have a good dinner. Medical science tells us that the body burns most of its calories while sleeping, so it’s especially important to eat your biggest meal right before bed. I typically have: Turkey chili, lasgna, corn, salad, french fries, toast, green peppers, coffee, milk, grapes, pecan pie, and Pepsi. But eating shouldn’t be some perfunctory act. It should be an affair with music and lights and flourish. The hands are important here. For a truly effective meal you should touch your food as much as possible, gesture dramtically, and wiggle your fingers often. Eating alone is the only way to acheive the perfect dining experience as is being naked. For best results it is important to sit in front of the window with drapes pulled back and blinds up. For men I recommend taking a stout double dose of viagra before begining the meal. No half measures-ever. Only when you are all in can you fully embrace an experience. This is my routine; my nightly ritual. It reminds me that I am fully capable and wholly vulnerable. It tethers me both with it’s structure and shamanic overtones and awakwens me to the duality of being both great and small.

Posted in: Cuisine, Random

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.