I was bitten by my pet turtle today

By Seamus O'Sparks on January 22, 2016 — 1 min read

I was bitten by my pet turtle today. His name is Regular Mike. I was feeding him ham when he bit me. I may lose a finger. It’s my lucky finger. Could you please vote for me and my little band. We’ve had lots of hard luck with the turtles and falcons lately and could use a psychic boost. Oh, and Gwyneth Paltrow is suing us. 🙁

Posted in: Random

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.