Do you ever wonder why certain songs are included in some radio station’s Christmas playlists? I do. I wrote Majic 95.5 to see if they could shed a light on things:
I listen to your Christmas station while at work. That means I get to hear hours and hours of you guys everyday. By the end of my shift I feel like I have sugar plums crawling out of my ears. One night I actually got them(sugar plums) stuck to my head. That’s how much I listen to your station. I like what you guys play-even the songs that make me feel suicidal (E.g. “Last Christmas”-all versions). I also don’t mind that you play the same songs over and over-I’ll hear “All I Want for Christmas is You” at least four times a day. But, I am curious to know why the Peanuts theme song, “Linus and Lucy” gets so much airplay? It’s not really a Christmas song, is it? I mean, sure, Charlie Brown did have a Christmas special, but so did Kate & Allie. I’m pretty sure no one uses their theme song at Christmas time. Don’t get me wrong, I like the Peanuts song. It may be one of the better Christmas songs you all play-which is weird because it’s not a Christmas song at all. But, I must know by whose decree it has been designated as such. I want to peer into the dark machinery of your world. Maybe, then, I can understand the modern age a bit better. Maybe, then, I can make peace with my own bent peonage. Who makes these decisions while we all slither along gnawing the struts? Who is the cultural herdsman keeping us in our pens? It’s exactly this kind of furtive and subtle manipulation that turns ordinary men into shrieking and demented brutes. You bet-it’s this kind of top down prestidigitation that reduces reasonable folk into chattering balls of lunacy and cannibalism. And while the power to decide what is and isn’t a Christmas song may seem like a trivial thing-writ large, it reflects all that is distorted, manipulative, and stultifying about the 21st century. The devil is in the details…always in the details. So, please, let me know who has decided that “Linus and Lucy” is a Christmas song. Who has made it so-is their name, perhaps, Legion? I believe, with this knowledge made public here and now, that we can reclaim self-determinism from the diabolical mechanisms that run us raw. We will no longer be the bloody chaff; we will be unreapable, unthreshable-freaky golden grains.
Thanks so much!
p.s. could y’all play, Dominic the Italian Christmas Donkey?