Warning: Use of undefined constant DATABASE_SERVER - assumed 'DATABASE_SERVER' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/wjl7ay88puji/domains/seamus.wileykoepp.com/html/wp-config.php on line 32
Well I’ve had a RARE morning | Seamus O'Sparks

Well I’ve had a RARE morning

By Seamus O'Sparks on December 17, 2015 — 1 min read

Well I’ve had a RARE morning. Thomas Hobbes described man’s pre-civilized “natural” state as, “nasty, brutish, and short.” So what has life become here in our post-natural, hyper-civilized condition? I’d describe it as, “irritating, pointless, and rushed.” Here’s an example of what I’m talking about: my neighborhood is filled with owls. They’re everywhere. It used to be kind of neat (just like with the deer) but now it’s a grody hassle. For instance, this morning I went out to get the paper. I wasn’t outside for two minutes before this owl comes up and asks to bum a cigarette. I told him I didn’t have any so he cusses me out, vomits, then pulls out a cigarette and lights up. I made a kind of sidelong chuckle. You know, a, “hmeph.” He responded by dropping his sweatpants, pulling out his penis, and shaking it at me. Welcome to the happy times…

Posted in: Animals

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.