Well I’ve had a RARE morning

Well I’ve had a RARE morning. Thomas Hobbes described man’s pre-civilized “natural” state as, “nasty, brutish, and short.” So what has life become here in our post-natural, hyper-civilized condition? I’d describe it as, “irritating, pointless, and rushed.” Here’s an example of what I’m talking about: my neighborhood is filled with owls. They’re everywhere. It used to be kind of neat (just like with the deer) but now it’s a grody hassle. For instance, this morning I went out to get the paper. I wasn’t outside for two minutes before this owl comes up and asks to bum a cigarette. I told him I didn’t have any so he cusses me out, vomits, then pulls out a cigarette and lights up. I made a kind of sidelong chuckle. You know, a, “hmeph.” He responded by dropping his sweatpants, pulling out his penis, and shaking it at me. Welcome to the happy times…