I got stung so bad by so many yellow jackets today

By Seamus O'Sparks on July 29, 2015 — 1 min read

I got stung so bad by so many yellow jackets today. I was working in the yard and reached under a ledge and stirred up a large nest of these bastards. They swarmed me and I started to run. They chased me down and, wouldn’t you know it, when I got to the door I was locked out. The bugs pulled back and hovered about four feet in front of me. I slumped down on the ground and cowered. A dog barked in the distance. Buzzing. Then, they struck. When I came to, I was completely naked. My wallet(which had 100 dollars in one dollar bills in it) had been stolen and my underwear were on my head. The miserable pukes had rolled me. I looked up and there, under the eaves, was a yellow jacket nest made entirely out of green American cash. My cash… A nasty little hive built at my expense…To hell with ’em. WITH ‘EM ALL. Man, even the insects are pricks in this country anymore…

Posted in: Animals, Random

The Story of Seamus

Seamus O'Sparks is the seventh son of a Seventh Day Adventist who went on a seven-day bender starting on July 7, 1977 at a strip club called Seventh Heaven at the corner of 7th St. and 7th Ave. in the West Village.